jerrylentz’s posterous

...belong!
 
Thanks Steve Kellener, for making that happen!
 
Truly one of my favorite bookstores to run into famous people. It used to be an old movie theatre! Met cool Actor/People there like Andy Griffith, Buddy Ebsen and even Angelina Jolie's dad! They also have a great section about Film!
 
Being that it's Wednesday... It's "All Joke Wednesday!" on my Facebook profile! YAY! Post your favorite jokes in the comments. Make people happy. Make the day fly by. Make the sad folks laugh. Please Add me and see all the fun we have!
 http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
 

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...each other over the Internet?
 
Hope you are like the Thousands that have not only found time to listen to the Jerry Lentz Podcast, but have subscribed for FREE. Many have found it the perfect way to become more productive in the workplace. Some have found it as a way to pass the time instead of talking in a bad relationship. Others learn new things as they wile away the minutes in a life they've found grows more meaningless with every passing moment.
 
Today's show includes:
 
Facebook Friends, Worst Break Ups, 20 movies, Neil Young, Oksana Grigorieva, Motley Crue, King of the Hill, John Hughes, J.J. Abrams, Dark Tower, Great America Theme Park, Perseids Meteor Shower, Artificial Bone and more! Hear the show on one of the amazing links below!
 
Don't forget the Tip Jar in the Side Bar on:
http://www.jerrylentz.com/
 
And add me as a "Friend" on:
http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
 
T-Shirts and Thongs on:
http://www.cafepress.com/jerrylentz
 
On Blubrry:
http://www.blubrry.com/jerrylentz/
 
On Gcast:
http://www.gcast.com/u/JerryLentz/main
 
The Feed:
http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml
 
On iTunes:
http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=304095539
 

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...I'm not sure why?
 
This stylish Southern Cowgirl I've known since she was just 16 years old and now this full grown woman capable of making her own smart choices has gone and tattooed my face onto that sweet sweet ass of hers. I'm becoming the "Kilroy was Here!" of the Modern Age. I've become an Icon. A logo. A t-shirt at best!
 
Used to be a girl would tattoo my name on their ass for Pearl Jam backstage passes or some such contest nonsense, now no prize is needed. My face on a girl's ass seems to be its own reward.

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...I've peeked!
 
Deep into editing The Mad Scarlets music video and I must say, it's the best music video I've edited all day! If I wasn't suffering from the heat, allergies, and blurred vision, I'd say they might just get their money's worth.
 
Got a sweet email from a former waitress, former model, former porn star, former GF (questionable) but always funny gal who I've written about in the past asking me about how my life is going... I hate when she asks that because you can never top hers.
 
She only asks me when I'm down and my life sucks. She's never going to ask that question when her life is sucking donkey balls. I doubt she's done that, by the way.
 
She's a very sweet girl. Very silly. We used to have lots of fun. She can really make me laugh.
 
So she tells me she's in Buenos Aires making a movie with her wealthy Argentinean Rock Star boyfriend. She said she still does nude modeling and will only do girl on girl in porn because she's really in love with her new guy. Sweet.
 
I try not to get down. I try not to get depressed. I focus on the fact that it must be hotter in Buenos Aires than in The Queen City in which I find myself sweating. Can't help but think I'm missing out on some great life out there in the world. A world where a pretty girl will love me and show her commitment to me by only having sex on the side with other girls.

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...something I avoided buying because of all the ads for it.
 
When I couldn't find my favorite deodorant, Arm & Hammer Baking Soda, on the shelf, I had to improvise. I grabbed the first Axe stick I saw and there were many varieties. Still don't know what flavor it is, but the container has a copper brown design on it. But let me tell you, I put it on and all night long I kept trying to take a sniff of my pits every now and then just because it was so wonderful. Of course I didn't want anyone to see me doing it, so I'd reach up to rub the top of my head and casually tilt my head to the side. Inhale. Or pretend I was searching for something in my pants pocket and bend over as though I was looking into it. Take a whiff. Bring on a fake yawn and cover my mouth with the inside of my elbow. Sniff it! The aroma is fantastic! It's a real turn on. So much so, I couldn't wait to get myself in bed. Can't wait to try it out on a woman!
 
Later I dreamed I was a cool fashion designer. All my friends were beautiful models. I was having a party in my pad, which was on the bottom part of a giant Zeppelin. We were floating high over Milan and the Smashing Pumpkins were my party band. My new fragrance had just been unleashed to the world and we were celebrating. I was telling some funny story and everyone was laughing. Bar Refaeli raise a glass to toast me, Billy Corgan patted me on the back, Tom Ford yelled, "Speech!" I thought a bit and looked around the room at all those amazing looking people and said, "I just want people to be happy."
 
It was like I said something really stupid. Everyone looked at each other. Embarrassed I walked out onto the balcony alone as a storm cloud sparkling with lightning passed underneath the Zeppelin. I stared down onto the city far below. Something was missing from my life. Someone. The person I wanted to share all this with wasn't there. A missing girl.
 
In the dream, I began to wonder if that missing girl was a dream. I remembered that if I wasn't sure I was dreaming, I could try to see myself in a mirror. There was one on a table that some models were snorting coke off of, I picked it up and my image was all blurry. I held the mirror up really close and I started to see myself clearly, but there was a crackling sound and static was building up on the skin of the Zeppelin. The Captain's voice blared out of the speakers warning all of us, "Do not to touch another person because the static shock could trigger an explosion and send us all to a fiery Hell!"
 
Guests began throwing chairs through the windows and jumping to their deaths! I leaned over the railing and watched dozens of models flailing their arms and legs as they fell through the clouds below.
 
The image of the missing girl appeared in my mind and I needed to call her! I roamed the empty and trashed apartment to find the phone and just as I touched it...
 
The giant Zeppelin burst into flames and we lit up the night sky!

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...over men.
 
I would like to be a pleasing robot, not a war machine.
 
If I were a machine, I suppose I wouldn't fear death, I might fear rust. Or maybe I wouldn't have feelings at all, if I was lucky. I imagine though, I would have feelings. Maybe I would be a shy robot. A robot that wouldn't speak until spoken to. A robot that might try hiding behind a tree when a little girl spots me lifting a fallen bird's nest back up on a branch. The kind of robot that lifts the car and fixes the flat of a stranded and scared woman on a roadside at night. This robot might deliver a baby of a teenager too terrified to tell her parents and turned away by the Hospital for lack of insurance. I might be the very robot that would shelter Firemen and shoulder the collapsing building. Maybe a flying robot that could reach way up into the sky and collect a tumbling command module, and saving the Astronauts from a disintegrating space shuttle. I would like to the robot that sits at the bus stop with the worried little boy on his first day of
 school, telling him he will be okay and that I will wait for him there when the bus brings him back. I could be the robot that sits beside an elderly person dying from cancer and moments from death, holding their frail human hands in my strong metal ones, telling them that soon I will see them in Heaven, even if there was no data to support it in my on board computer, yet mysteriously I can feel it to be true in my hydraulics.

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...skin we once had fades and peels away like dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind.
 
Standing nude in front of my mirror above the sink trying to dye my graying goatee, I caught a glance at my body, though still hot, I noticed some loose sagging skin, flabby belly, an inordinate amount of hair growth, but if it wasn't for my fabulously long and youthfully beautiful penis, I'd feel I had nothing good to offer you at this age.
 
As I looked into my eyes I wondered if I should stop trying to find a girlfriend in America, or Canada, or Russian, or Thailand and start thinking about the possibility of fooling a beautiful blind girl into loving me. She might not be as disgusted. I could hold my breath and not make any noise as she undresses for the shower. She'll never know I'm there! I wouldn't have to dress up when I take her to a concert, or movie.
 
Who am I kidding? Is a beautiful blind girl going to love me for my personality? Don't answer! I've had a few rough days. I'm just thinking, don't mind me.
 
I'm about to change things! Do something different! Gonna get a new lease on Life! Gonna learn some new skills! Meet some new people! Change my routine! And I also may go back to spinning records/CDs in a Club like I used to do. I just had an offer! I had fun doing that back in the day, losing myself to the music, the beat, pleasing myself with a mix, and making cash! Don't forget the New Podcast is up! And more importantly, don't forget to tip and buy some t-shirts for Back To School! The Cool Kids love it!
 
On Today's Radio Show; $90 pizza, Tokyo Ear-Cleaning Salon Killing, Chinese Spacemen, Modest Mouse, Heath Ledger, Roger Daltrey, Playboy, Kurt Cobain, Robot Suit, Alien Sightings, Teenager Decapitated, Lizzie Borden, The Lovely Bones and more awesomeness! On Blubrry: http://www.blubrry.com/jerrylentz/
 
On Gcast: http://www.gcast.com/u/JerryLentz/main
 
The Feed: http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml
 
On iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=304095539

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...try on the Jerry Lentz Podcast Clothing Line of tees and thongs!
 
http://www.cafepress.com/jerrylentz
 
Individually they won't do stuff like this. Posing for pictures in my thongs. Get them together and it's some weird peer pressure dare that causes them to do crazy stuff. Well, you can't see my image on the t-shirts because they are too shy to show their faces, but that's the way it goes. Thanks to all those that continue sending in the pictures!
 
I went to sleep really early last night. Slept very deep. Then had the most horrible dream! Now I fear my day is ruined, even as cute pictures of fans in thongs continue to arrive in my email. I wish I could shake this awful feeling I caught from the dream.
 
In the dream I discovered the home I lived in when I was a child was for sale. As a lark I went to see it and as I walked around the house and land, memories poured over me. The real estate agent told me to hang around the place and think it over. Well, it turned dark and stormy and I found that I couldn't start the car. I grabbed my backpack out of the trunk and a blanket off the backseat and decided to sleep in the empty house.
 
The place was dark as there was no electricity, but I found my old bedroom and there I crashed on the floor. Suddenly I heard talking in another room. I was getting scared. I didn't know what to do. Out of nowhere this kid walked in the room and turned on the light. There was a bunk bed, a desk and posters on the wall. He couldn't see me. I was invisible. I got up and listened to him talk to a woman in another room.
 
The kid seemed familiar.
 
It was ME!!!
 
I began to get panicked. Was I dead? Traveling in time? A Ghost?
 
The dream went on and on, I walked around saw my dad and mom both alive, saw my brothers all younger and I followed my younger self out into the woods behind the house where I used to go think to myself. I sat beside myself on a fallen tree.
 
The younger self turned to me with tears in his eyes and said, "All these dreams I have, all these things we want to do and you can't make them come true! How could you ruin it? You've ruined everything! You're not talented at all. We're nothing!"
 
It was at that point I jerked awake. My heart was racing and there was this awful lump in my throat. I wanted to cry. Why dream something like that? Why am I hurting myself? Why even sleep if this is what awaits me?
 
What a great start to the day!

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...to let them use The Jerry Lentz Podcast as a school project.
 
Not sure what all they plan to do, but they said they want to design a logo, marketing plan, street team promotions, guerrilla billboards, and other stuff for school. They were students of mine when I taught Radio and TV Broadcasting in the NBC/Universal Building in Los Angeles, now they are in an art school for design and marketing. Seems they do everything together.
 
It's funny, I still hear from some of the kids in my class. That makes me feel so good! Mister Chips must have felt this way. Humbert Humbert, and Mary Kay Letourneau, too!
 
So many people are getting behind the show, they support it by sending me news items and funny stories and jokes and many listeners create photoshoped pictures, artwork and posters. Many people that I look up to have taken the time to write me and comment on the podcast. These people you would probably know, but I never feel comfortable mentioning them. I don't know why? It just feels funny, like I'm name dropping or something. But these letters do mean a lot to me!
 
What really means a lot to me is when someone thinks enough of it to donate a gift to the podcast, leaving a tip in the Tip Jar on http://www.jerrylentz.com or buying a t-shirt at http://www.cafepress.com/jerrylentz so many have and that is very touching!
 
Many people write me saying where can they find the show? I can't believe they can't figure it out! They can subscribe for free to it in any number of ways. Many people listen to one episode and then forget where they heard it when they want to hear the next one. That's why subscribing is the best way, either through iTunes, Gcast, Blubrry... But the best way may just be to go directly to the Feed:
 
http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml

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