I could be standing next to you in the shower and you wouldn't know it was me!

Talked to my Tax Guy and was very excited to learn I will be getting back enough money back to go to the Cannes Film Festival, but I will have to go by Greyhound Bus.

Just when I got the news I was getting some good money back in my Tax Return and I was thinking of either going to Cannes or to NYC, my car dies on me in the middle of a turn on the freeway with oncoming trucks and trailers! I almost died! Looks like that money will go to car repairs

My 96 Honda Civic just overheated and died! Looks to be the water pump, maybe a cracked head, too. This repair is gonna be pricey! My tax return isn't gonna cover this disaster! I shoulda stayed in bed today! What am I gonna do without a car? Pray?

Scientist discovers the Last Supper may have included Fishsticks and Deviled Eggs!

I asked my waitress at lunch how things have been going and she said, "Not good. I guess it's 'No Tip for Black Girl Day!"

I can't tell you how excited I am, that in less than 6 weeks I will begin having sex with the same woman for the rest of my life, as far as she knows!

Unable to find a good neti pot, I noticed the people I'm staying with have a fancy Waterpik... Didn't work. Too stopped up, dammit! Might try the pressure sprayer at the carwash next.

Wow! Those Fiber Choice Chewable Tablets finally kicked in! Now I'm only stopped up on the top end! Guess I won't be going horseback riding today!