...stopped in her tracks and turned around and said, "Okay, you have me. What are you gonna do with me?"

I don't know whether Jessica is Little Red Riding Hood, of some kinda She-Wolf in girl clothing?

Can I be the wolf that chases her and then she has to tame me and make me sweet and loving? Am I a bad boy/man? I can't control myself around her. She brings the devil out in me! I dreamed last night that she was undressing me and after she had dropped all of my clothes to the floor, she began unstitching the laces that held the different layers of my skin together. It seems there was a costume of me around me and she removed all to reveal a beast. A big furry beast! She walked me to the mirror and I saw myself as Jean Cocteau and Jean Marais's beast with tears in my eyes and my nose quivering. I wonder if I am a beast?

Dang car troubles! My car has been such a good car, but now it's acting like it's jealous of me getting married and throwing a hissy fit! Why is it doing this to me? Can't I love both the car and Jessica? I've loved her since I first heard her on the phone when she was calling me at the radio station I used to work when she was 16 years old! But I've only had the car since 1996, so who do you think wins?

I got my car back from the garage with a new water pump and new brakes and I asked the guy if there was a warranty and he said, "It's called a 'Shadow Warranty,' the minute you drive out of the shadow of this building, it's all your responsibility."

Who can you trust?

Wow! 60 million people think it's very likely the government got involved on 9/11 and many of them feel Bin Laden's death a fake!
http://www.livescience.com/13982-osama-bin-laden-death-conspiracy-theories.html

I wish the White House and Obama would get their stories straight! Now they're saying Osama wasn't hiding behind a human shield of young women. They are saying when troops burst into Osama's compound they caught him masturbating to a video of "The Dancing Bear!" This ruins EVERYTHING! Really, who can you trust?

I have a male stripper friend that told me he came out dressed in a turban and a beard like Osama Bin Laden and the women screamed when he opened his outfit to reveal his wiener wrapped up in a turban, too! The only complaints he got were from the Muslim husbands that called in the next day. He called each one and said he made the turbans out of Muslin sheets and thought that would be okay.

I like to think this world is like a long ass movie and it's got lots of plot, slow spots and fast parts, some of it is phony and fake, some of it is silly and funny, some of it is sad and makes me cry, some of it is like a documentary and is too real, some of it is like someone else's home movies and I can't wait to leave, but sometimes it's a date movie and I can't wait to start making out while the movie is playing. I want to be making out with Jessica so bad right now! But she's so far away!

This morning in bed I thought a helicopter was hovering over me, but it was just the ceiling fan as a helicopter from Ft. Rucker was outside passing by the house in which I'm crashing. I sat up, admired myself in the mirror, walked to the window, looked through the blinds expecting Saigon and a mission to arrive. Today my mission was to find someone to buy me lunch and dinner, as I am flat broke!

My friend Steve says, "Forget about today, tomorrow is Cinco De Mayo! Who's buying Jerry a margarita or three?"

He's right! I need to get drunk! Whose with me?