Got some great drugs from my new doctor that are sure to tip any work related drug test into the positive. I'm not a drug user per se, but I think with what I have to put up with in my life I deserve a wee bit of the chemical romance.

You know that thing where people talk about seeing one set of footprints in the sand after they got a piggy back ride from Jesus? Well, Tramadol is my copilot!

I can't believe I got a prescription to it! Just last night I saw a news report about a guy that was taking 50 of them a day. One alone is enough for me. One Tramadol for at least 2 hours is perfect for me. In fact, it completes me. It had me at "Hello!"

Maybe it wasn't the best way to swallow my drugs last night, but I downed the palmful of pills with a cup of apple cider vinegar. Why? Because I'm a real man! Make no mistake about that, doll. A real man can do crap like that.

I know what you're thinking, is it, "Jerry, are you typing this while the Tramadol is coursing through your veins?"

Or, "Jerry, do you think my breasts look too big in this photo?"

Well the answer is "Yes!"