I find myself saddened by another year passing without a single Oscar...
... nomination for my brilliant work.
When I was a kid I would stand up on my bed and give my Oscar speech to the mirror and to my Millions of adoring fans, but just as I got going really good thanking all my action figures, the orchestra would interrupt with their music and a giant hook would enter stage right and haul me off.
Dang, even my imagination was against me!