Jessica has been sweet today, she let me sleep until 2:49pm! She gently woke me up by placing a heavy pillow across my face and pressing all her weight on it. But since she weighs nothing, I was able to survive another day.

Jessica seemed shocked to learn tonight that she married a man that doesn't know how to, or has ever cooked! All her past husbands and lovers were accomplished chefs. I suppose to save this relationship I better learn! I want to hang on to her as long as I can! Do you know of any good online tutorials or video series that can teach cooking from the very basics? This is important!

There used to be an online free BBC cooking course, but I can't find it now. Anyone know where it might have moved? I've been experimenting on a project for the last several weeks. Noticed there is no way to eat a Pop-Tart without leaving crumbs on my shirt. Mine seems to collect on a shelf where my belly begins. Sure I could eat sitting upright at the table, but for these purposes I've been in bed. I use an adhesive lint roller to remove crumbs, sometimes a vacuum attachment, or the cat, but the cat isn't always in the mood.

I've been seeking government grants and other funding, but at this time it's all been self financed.