Showed up last night for what I thought was just an ordinary date with the most extraordinary girl, so I was just wearing jeans and a tshirt, but when she answered the door she was decked out like a supermodel. I'll be honest, I didn't feel bad about it at first, I didn't feel anything at all, because when I saw her face, her makeup, her hair, her skirt, her top, her Gucci shoes, her nails... I had gone completely retarded. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen! I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I know I wasn't breathing because I got lightheaded and dizzy.

Then it slowly sank in that I was probably not a very good sight to see.

I need to start thinking about collecting a better wardrobe. Soon as the money starts rolling in I will get back into fashion and stop looking so much like a hobo.