...and former co-workers I hadn't seen in months, and was all excited by the constant compliments about my weight loss and the wonderful ego boosting, "You look so fantastic" that I was hearing. I was getting hugs and kisses and pretty ladies gathered around my table to see my my big long wiener.

I had ordered a huge hotdog without a bun and I think they were surprised by how big it was, but I have to say it looked awfully lonely with no bun to stick it in.

"That looks so good, but I don't think I could get that big bad thing in my mouth," one gal said. I was the only one eating, but since I wasn't drinking anything but water, I felt I needed to give the bar some money and I was hungry, as I always am.

It was fun seeing everyone! They asked me about my travels, the documentary, the ghosts, if I was seeing anyone and from them I heard sexy gossip! Dirty, dirty gossip! It's like everyone here is doing nothing but fucking! I think sometimes when I'm hanging out with a bunch of gals they sometimes forget that I'm a man, so they open up to me, spread out all the juicy stories and they love to keep me abreast of the latest buzz that gets their panties so knotted.

After I left, I stopped off at a bookstore and ran into another gal I know who complemented me again on my weight loss and some writing she had read here I had done and said, "Jerry, you need to try writing some Paranormal Romance books, with all your experience with ghosts... You write so sexy, too. I bet you'd be a big hit!"

She told me she was reading a few new books and was really getting into them, but was always feeling let down by the end. She grabbed one book by an author she liked and thumbed through to a paragraph for me to read and it really did sound like something I'd written and attached to a video posted on Facebook, like I do from time to time. As I read it, she placed her left hand on my right shoulder and read it with me, then briefly laid her head on my shoulder then quickly straightened up as if she didn't realize what she was doing. She cleared her throat and said, "Wow, you smell good!"

"I think it's cigarette smoke. I was just at a bar"

"No, it's not," she laughed.

She wanted to buy me the book, but I told her my reading selections are backing up on my nightstand and that I'd get it later. Driving back to my place I started thinking about this woman, a former porno girl I used to know in LA that used to annoy me like you can't imagine and how she's now a bestselling writer. I usually get along with everyone, but she just sucked as a human, as far as I was concerned, so when her second book came out I picked it up ready to make fun of it... But sadly, it was really good. Bitch!

If I don't hurry, everyone I know will be a writer before I get published.