...pretty close to it, I think I can whip up the sauce that might make that happen for you.
 
While my DNA is primo, realize that that beautiful child may grow up to look like me. That info may lower the bids on eBay for my home-made Jack Sauce. So we should aim for a female. If it's a boy, he'll need special training in various skills to compensate for the fact his cuteness factor may fail within 12 years after birth. He'll need to start producing an income by the age of 10 because cash always makes a man look better. Girls in my gene pool should be able to coast without any skills other than looking good and what kind of shoes to buy, anything extra, like how to add and subtract, is just a bonus.
 
Yes, that was me in the photo a few years ago, but on the inside I haven't changed a bit. I think it's odd when women look at it and know me now, they always go, "Wow, you had hair!" They would lose it if I looked at their pictures from when that were that age and I said, "Wow, your breasts are the same size as they were then!" People just love to comment.
 
I was watching Rick Steves on PBS traveling in Bruges and he was asking a girl in a candy shoppe about a chocolate candy she makes that had tobacco from Cuba in it, so she gave him a free sample and he bites into it and says, "Not as good as a Cuban Cigar." What a Dick!
 
There's this "Voice" in my head that responds to people commenting out loud on things when their opinion wasn't sought. Someone will be eating with me and out of nowhere they say something like, "I don't like these chips!"
 
In my head, the "Voice" says, "Who asked you?"
 
Sometimes the "Voice" says, "Kill, kill, kill!"
 
The face of that voice in my head belongs to either Satan or that little boy, so I giggle maniacally to myself only half the time.