I'd grab my guitar and hop a train if I only had a guitar! My car has started a knocking sound on the rear right wheel whenever I make a left turn, so it's only a matter of time that it will fly loose while I'm on a bridge or between two large semis. My car is so about to fall apart. 

I drove to Georgia and stayed in a motel for a few hours. Didn't sleep. Visited a friend for a while and then hit the road. I think this may be the way my life is heading, always leaving. I'd like to settle down, but it just doesn't seem to be in me to stay long. I'm running from myself, I know this. I wish it wasn't true. I wish I liked myself more, because I know I'm a good person. I know my unhappiness is never truly about the situation but just my thoughts about it.

Leaving things and people behind is painful, but maybe letting it all go is better than negotiating, arguing or hanging on. Every move is toward the new, the fresh and the mind stirs. I want to let whatever the moment brings, be and accept it as if I had chosen it. Used to be if I saw Jesus crucified, I saw the hurt inflicted upon him, but now when I see it, I see him accepting the suffering, accepting fate, owning it and through that act reaching enlightenment. 

I've always resisted. It takes so much out of me now. I want so badly to be the water in the cup, to bend like a reed in the stream and float like the leaf on the current. Whatever I fight, I strengthen, and what I resist, persists. I want to let it all go. 

I know that all I will ever need or want it already in me, but finding it there is the hardest journey.