Nothing pleases me more than using my hypnotic powers on a beautiful woman to get her to remove her clothing and eventually her undergarments! Some guys love playing videogames and twittering about sports, but I love clouding a woman's mind, impregnating her with suggestions and convincing her I'm the man of her dreams, the one she's always wanted, the guy for her, and the only thing she needs.

Women say, "Jerry, I think about you all the time!" One woman tells me, "I've always wanted you!" Even a teenager, I was later told, said, "When I saw you for the first time, a bell went off in my head and I knew you were the one for me!"

I'm not telling you all this to impress you, but I would like to impress upon you, just how amazing I am and how much I want you to know it. And if I could get you to undress while you're learning all this, whose the victim?

I was showing the above advertisement to some girls, because I love how old ads can look funny sometimes and I liked the copy, but their only response was, "Wow, she has some perky breasts!"

Recently, I was watching some Brando films and a friend who just turned 18 today said, "He sure was some kinda man!" I thought it was cool a girl so young could see past all these years to a black and white movie and get just as weak and hot as an 18 year old girl did when the film was first playing.

So on Facebook I posted a status something along the lines of, "is there anyone today that you know that has that kinda magnetism?" And the very first comment was, "Other than you?"

I wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic, or she really meant it, but other comments came below and messages and emails from various people that know me and some that think they do and all pretty much let me know, "Yes, Jerry you are magnetic! You are so hot! Something about you… I can't take my eyes off you! I wish I could touch you. In bed at night I imagine I hear your voice whisper close to my ear as your strong thick arm reaches around me from behind and your warm hand cups my breast."

Well, I know God put me on Earth to use my gifts and I'm a gift giver, so is it wrong to do what I was meant to do? I think not. But if you deny a gift from God, wouldn't that be a sin? And if you sin, shouldn't you get punished? Shouldn't you get down on your knees and beg forgiveness? Should I be the one to punish you? Shouldn't I make you lift your dress up and pull your panties down to your ankles and bend you over this desk and with my bare hand spank that sweet bottom of yours? …Just so it will sting, make your ass red, even burn a bit and remind you all day and night what a bad baby you are and how proper thinking gets rewarded?

"Jerry, I want you to spank my ass and I want you to reward me for thinking correctly because I think you are the love of my life!"

Okay! Thanks!

Was just informed by a beautiful woman in her 70s (who really does look to be in her 40s) the beauty secret she's been using for years, and I know a few gals who should look this good when they're her age if they keeping getting this special facial!

Well, it wasn't Preparation H she was talking about, but that works temporarily. This one, that the lady wrote to me about is all natural and "Man-Made."

Oh boy!

Made by one man at a time.

Again, this woman wasn't using Preparation H unless it was for her ass. She was using something hot and fresh whipped up by her man and applied directly to her face and chin and chest in a quick jerking motion. She said she gets this facial nightly, so I'm betting she has a much younger man making it for her.

She contacted me after finding where I mentioned Helen Gurly Brown's similar secret recipe for beautiful skin. My writing reaches all sorts of demographics! It's a sign that I could be a bestselling writer!

I suppose the person putting the plastic letters up on the sign for the motel I passed meant to say, "Rewards" however I did laugh out loud when I read, "Enjoy Our Beds with Big Retards!"

I got a new cellphone thanks to Jessica and Erin, but I have no idea how to access the camera yet. I hope the sign is still up when I figure out how to use it!

It must be "Cowboy and Indian Day" I keep seeing kids dressed up like that. Maybe it's a new thing, kinda like having your ass hang out of your baggy pants and wearing your baseball cap backwards? Let me know when it's "White Boy Day." It's not "White Boy Day" is it?

Overheard two women talking about a pastor of some Georgia mega-church that lured young men into sex, and one of them said when she was 15 she had been raped by a guy who later became a famous televangelist. (though I never heard of him) and I swear the other woman said, "Oh, it's a good thing you never told your father, it coulda ruined that preacher's career."

They both agreed.

What?!! Some people can so easily forgive and forget and move on… and allow the criminal to move on to other victims. But these were much older black ladies, so some would probably try and convince me it was cultural or the ways of an older generation. I wish I could forgive and move on easily! I know that one shouldn't have to feel the pain forever and maybe it's best to let it all go, cause who wants someone to constantly have to think about some horrible event and be the victim all their life? I guess that would be giving the criminal power if you just thought about them all the time. I guess I would hope you could forgive them and forget them all the while they were in prison.

There are so many lowdown dirty dogs out there and women that let them get away with their crimes, but the truly sweet men have their affections rejected and often ridiculed. What a great world it would be if kind people were rewarded for being good and loving. How happy I would be if I could take the bad memories and wave my hand in front of your face and mine and scramble up the past and change it to a happy image, a powerful and strong image that would make you feel protected, safe, healthy, and loved.

Was talking with my friend, Jerome about his old blind dog, Jax. Jerome said, "Took Jax to the veterinarian and the vet put a thermometer up his butt and when he pulled it out, he crapped all over the floor!"

So I said, "Who did?" and Jerome made a face, sighed, rolled his eyes and said, "The vet crapped all over the floor!"

I guess I wasn't listening close enough to the story.

Were you? Are you in a trance? Have you been hypnotized? Where are your panties now?