This is the house Jessica owns with her ex-husband, but hopefully in a few years his name will be removed from the paperwork. I've moved all my stuff in and have begun packing things away, cleaning, and getting to know the cat that lives in the house. It's beautiful up here in the country in the state where my mom and my new wife were born. The house is really nice! As soon as the cat hair, cat smell, cobwebs, clutter, and her ex husband's stuff that seems to be everywhere is gone, or at least organized better, I will feel slightly more at home. Would you feel strange if you were asked if you wanted to sleep with a pillow the ex of your spouse used? How about opening a drawer to store some of your stuff and finding condoms and lubricants and sexual aids that they used? I guess I'm too sensitive about this kinda stuff and should have no problem wearing his old clothes, wearing his old used boxers, sleeping on the same mattress on the same side he did, or even washing out his lucky condoms, brushing my teeth with his old toothbrush, having her call me the same cute names she called him... After all, I've been eating on the same forks, peeing in the same pot, so should it be any different to be sticking it in some of the same holes as all the others have? I guess not. I hope to get over it soon! I may have to make myself feel better by having sex with other girls. I know that's weird, cause I hate cheating, but I just know whenever I was having troubles in the past with my feelings of jealousies or insecurities, it always made me feel so much better to go and have sex with some random young girl. People have been asking me why there were no "vows" included in the wedding. My answer has been, "I hate lying!"

I imagine it will be years before I feel comfortable enough to call this place "home," knowing how long the wait was to marry her, only seeing her on weekends after I moved down to be with her, and the amazing length of time her divorce took, I imagine I will have a place I can call home about 2 years after I've died and have become a ghost.