I'm so tired today! I wish I could just put my big heavy head down for a bit in a nice soft warm lap. I wish you could sing to me and sooth me with you angel voice and gently stroke my cheek with you fingertips.

If you just let me nap for a few I promise I will rub your feet later.

Need to go shopping for shoes. I have holes in both shoes and was contemplating stuffing newspaper in them to add another element to my hobo lifestyle, but I was unable to find a good newspaper. Might have to wait for a Sunday edition or just get the duct tape out.

I wear size 13 and when your feet are that big your shoe choices are somewhat limited, because they all start looking like flippers if you're not careful. 

I suppose I should be happy about having large feet, because it truly seems to have some correlation to the size of my penis. When women see the size of my feet they can't wait to undress me and discover the truth, the magic and the shock of seeing my penis laced up in a size 13 steel toe Dr. Marten!