It didn't used to be this way. I used to love saying the Pledge of Allegiance in
class when I was a kid. I loved reading about the discovery of the New World by
Columbus. I loved reading about Lincoln. I used to love stories about the
creation of the Declaration of Independence. I loved stories of the Freemasons,
too! But so much has happened in history that makes me sad. An old girlfriend
once broke up with me by telling me that a relationship is like a tablecloth and
sometimes things get said that no matter how much you want to take back the
hurtful things screamed in anger, it's like a coffee stain on the cloth that
won't come out and will always be there to remind you. When I now see the flag I
think how racist we are and may always be even though we deny, deny, deny and
lie.

Sitting in my car in line behind a long queue of cars and trucks blocked as a
funeral passed by, I noticed the pickup truck in front of me with the Jesus Fish
thing, the gun rack, the American flag, the Rebel flag and a bumper sticker that
said, "Obama 2012: Don't Re-Nig!"

I don't think there's any hope in changing it. Even all the deaths in 9-11, all
the deaths in all the Christian wars, all the deaths in the desert, all the
deaths in all the Jihads, all the deaths by terrorists big and small, all the
prayers, all the tears, all the laws, all the jails, all the drugs, all the
gangs, all the charities, all the churches, all the hospitals, all the
dictators, all the socialists, all the republicans, all the democrats, all the
teabags, all the militias, all the children missing mothers and fathers… Are
going to change us from feeling hate. The flag is stained. But maybe our hearts
don't have to be. Maybe we need less thinking, less wringing of hands, and more
feeling and holding hands.

I offer you may hand in a handshake. I offer you my arms in a hug. I want to
hold you so tightly! I want to whisper in your ear, "I accept you! I trust you!
I love you!" And while I say that, hoping to move you to tears, unbeknownst to
you I slowly pull your wallet from you back pocket and remove some cash because
I've started a fund and I need you to contribute. The fund is me! I got medical
bills and other stuff and I need groceries. So hug me!

Look, sorry about all that above, I'm just being silly… Besides, I'm drunk! Just
look at my beautiful face and how sweet I am. How can you hate me? Aren't I
cute? Cut me some slack! Since I missed having a good margarita on Cinco de
Mayo, I needed it! Thanks to Jessica and the girls for hanging out with me today
on the road trip! I was hoping there would be some laughs, some silliness, some
flashing and mooning cars that we passed by, but the girls were too young and
not up for it, so I was on my own and no one wants to see my titties and if
those kids keep rolling their eyes at me like they do, their eyes are gonna fall
out of their faces! I'm doing the best I can! Don't push me, I'm close to the
edge! I'm trying not to lose my head!

‎"I'm not locked in here with you, YOU'RE locked in here with ME!!!" - Rorschach

It was Sigmund Freud's Birthday today! He was born in 1856. How did you
celebrate and honor this man? I got drunk and thought about my Mother! There! I
said it!

Also, in 1937, the Hindenburg disaster took place in Lakehurst, New Jersey. I
asked my friend Indiana how she was gonna remember this date and she said, "I
think I will use my favorite silver bullet personal vibrator!" I didn't
understand. I went all day wondering what the hell she could have thought I
asked, but as the margarita coursed through my veins and finally reached my
brain, I began to understand, then I actually got a boner thinking about it and
the dream I had last night that I wish I could tell you about, but first I have
to make it come true! Then I promise, I will. I might even videotape it! But
then I should charge you for it!