I wonder if I ever should have moved away from Dallas. Should I have moved away from Los Angeles? Should I have stayed in San Francisco? Should I have made it work in New York? Why did I give up on London? 

I think I'm remembering why I left the South in the first place.

It was too good to keep going. I knew the other shoe was gonna drop. I knew it wouldn't last. I knew people I left in the past would come back to bother me. Sure, I might seem too sensitive, but isn't it really them, those that can't deal with me in a polite way or are too sensitive? 

Doesn't it seem those that preach tolerance and forgiveness and love and understanding are the first to attack and hurt whoever and whatever they don't understand?

How hard am I to get along with? I'm just telling jokes.

Some of the best friends I've made in my life are ones I've met online and never meet in person. Maybe I should live in my small house far from humans and just talk with my online friends?

I'd be the best person for NASA to send to Mars. 

Maybe I could finally figure out how to make money from something I create, like maybe a book or film and then just travel the world. I feel so much better when I'm in motion. 

I could just Skype with those I love. Don't need physical contact, really. I know what you're thinking. What about sex? Well, really. Have you ever had an orgasm with someone that was better than what you could give yourself? Really? I guess I'm just that good, then.

Guess maybe I'm in a bad mood. Feeling kinda down today. If it weren't for all the drug testing I'm having to go through during job interviews, I'd be self medicating myself right now!

Seems like a Monday today. I might need a good strong drink, or maybe some drugs to see my way through it.

I'm so ready to pack up again and run away again! I'd like to run away with another person, but they are so tied up, have a full life of their own, a ton of responsibilities, family, houses, cats, children, shoes… I'm as loose as ash on the wind. Ash or pollen.

Why do I have to suffer from allergies? Seems no matter where I travel to, I am under attack!

I want to be free to do what I want and to go where I want. I'm free. Poor, but free. I gotta get it together! I want to have money and be free. 

I guess I'm one of those people I kinda hate. You know the type, those that need a lot of attention. If I'm left alone for a second without any stimulation my mind starts wandering. Sometimes I completely shut down. At least when I'm alone, I'm with myself and can keep myself focused on me. 

Sometimes I think I focus on others too much and ignore myself and my needs. I don't do well with people who decide when and where to fit me in on their schedule. Have you ever had friends that call you up and tell you all about what's going on with them and just as begin with how your day is going they say, "Look, I need to gotta run. Maybe I'll call you back if I get a break." CLICK. One or two times, I understand, but…

Gosh, I'm sick of myself. I need a break from myself. Where is the self in me? Is it in my brain or is it in my heart? Is my self in an appendage I could amputate? If I could just be free of my self, maybe my life would be better? 

I was driving earlier and thinking how a long term coma might just be the thing I'm looking for! People in comas for a long time seem to have better skin, less wrinkles and they get thinner, too! Plus, you don't have to deal with people!