Where's my reward for all those years of standing on my bed holding my Teddy Bear like an award and giving my acceptance speech? Even as a child I did that!

Maybe "The Secret" is bullshit? Maybe dreams don't come true? Maybe I don't know which line to kneel in to blow the right people?

Until the Universe is corrected and God sees that he's misplaced me somewhere other than where my true brilliant talents deserve to exist, I'll just try and enjoy the works of other geniuses.